


Life Lessons

by WandererofStars



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 10:25:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16514570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WandererofStars/pseuds/WandererofStars
Summary: In which Ford faces an unusual challenge by having to prepare a simple breakfast...and learns something important about family.A commission to the lovely Sirkka. ❤





	Life Lessons

Ford Pines was a man who didn't shy away in the face of the unknown. The weird and the unexpected had long been part of his routine. A veteran of the Weirdmageddon, he was familiar with a secret and broad reality that stretched beyond the conventional limitations of human imagination. He had braved the Multiverse for thirty years, alone and unprepared, vanquished all manner of terror beyond the portal, had come face to face with the king of the Nightmare Realm himself…

...only to stand in an empty kitchen at five a.m., not knowing the first step on how to prepare a simple breakfast for three people.

* * *

 

Last night, Stan was rushed into a hospital after an accident involving Robbie. Apparently the rebellious teenager got himself a motorcycle and didn't see Stanley coming out of the woods one dark night after a quick visit to an old friend’s house. The fact that he was carrying a painting from Gustav Kloening in the middle of nowhere had nothing to do with the visit, of course. Or the fact he was wearing a pair of dark gloves and a suspicious dark mask with holes for eyes and nostrils. As Ford explained to the police later, it was all a coincidence. A coincidence which cost him three hundred dollars and an entire night wasted at the police station.

With Stan now in the hospital with a broken leg and his niece and nephew still asleep, he would have to learn how to make a decent breakfast. Wendy only arrived to work at ten. And Soos had never bothered to learn how to cook, not with having grown up with his grandmother’s cooking. 

Ford turned on his laptop, a gift he had won from his good old friend Fiddleford last Christmas and typed in the password, a complex alphanumeric code born in the recesses of his privileged mind which only made sense to him and to him alone. Once Dipper had tried guessing the code when he learned Ford was now writing a fourth, virtual journal, only to be stumped at every attempt.

Ford snickered when he remembered Dipper’s scowl when he confessed to his wrongdoing. His nephew was good with puzzles; much like his great uncle, he had the knack for investigating mysteries. But even he couldn’t beat a master. There was still much the apprentice needed to learn.

The internet was slow that day. Ford made a mental note to build a better router. One that would preferably multiply the wifi speed by a thousand times. He opened a website containing all sorts of recipes. He approached his face to the screen, chin resting on one hand and scrolled through the breakfast section and found several ones. How to make pancakes, bacon and eggs - a classic -, orange juice, cafe au lait…

After reading the instructions, it all seemed simple enough. Honestly, he didn't see how people complained trying out online recipes was hard. He smiled and got to work. 

 

**One hour later…**

‘Dipper? Dipper!’

The boy grumbled for Mabel to go back to bed. 

‘Dipper, it’s me, Ford. Wake up.’

The boy slowly realised who it was and opened his eyes, staring at the face of his great uncle through slits. He blinked, still tired and feeling as if his head weighted a ton.

‘I need your help.’ Ford muttered, trying not to wake Mabel up.

Reluctantly, Dipper kicked his sheet out of the way and sat on the bed, yawning. Dragging his feet, he followed Ford to the kitchen while the man explained about his difficulty to make a simple pancake. Every time he tried the recipe, the result was disastrous.

Once they arrived, the boy was horrified to see the mess his great uncle had made. The counter was completely covered in flour and sugar, there were patches of dough stuck to the ceiling and one of the walls and stains of milk all over the floor. 

‘What happened here?’

Ford’s cheeks were flushed pink and he scratched the back of his head. ‘Er, well, Dipper, you see...the blender seemed like an ineffective way to mix the ingredients, so...I used a machine that I brought with me from Dimension Sigma 99°§, one that I’ve used many times to make concoctions and drinks when I worked as bartender for this Alpha Andorian...’

Dipper rubbed his eyelids and yawned loudly. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to go back to bed. Ford took this as his cue to stop babbling and shut up.

‘Okay. So what we need is to mix flour, milk and eggs. And then add some salt and sugar.’

Ford was impressed. ‘You know how to make pancakes?’

‘It’s one of the first things mom taught me and Mabel.’ he replied, folding up his sleeves.

After a short demonstration where Dipper skillfully flipped his pancake, he invited Ford to do the same. The pancake hit the ceiling and became stuck on the dough that was already there. Dipper facepalmed and asked his great uncle to try again. The pancake then fell on top of his head while he was trying to make a second pancake.

After a successful attempt, Ford then showed Dipper the other recipes he wanted to try. His nephew immediately spotted several mistaken instructions in each of them.

‘Great uncle Ford, I thought I’d warned you against trusting everything you read online.’

Ford was a bit offended by this.

‘Why would anyone lie on a website about cooking?’

‘It’s not like that. Look, just trust me and we’ll be done with breakfast in no time, alright?’

He decided to do as his nephew told him. Dipper did seem annoyed, tired and above all, unwilling to argue. 

First, they finished making pancakes and stashed them on a large plate, which was then moved to the dining table. Next, they turned on the griddle and started frying the strips of bacon, adding the eggs next.

‘Oh! I never thought they were so easy to make!’ Ford exclaimed, delighted at how crispy the bacon looked.

‘You just place them on the griddle and wait until they’re fried.’ Dipper replied, nonchalant.

‘Back in my days, we didn't have griddles, Dipper.’

‘Oh. But... you did have frying pans, right?’

Ford went pink on the cheeks and said nothing.

Once they were ready, they prepared each dish with a strip of bacon accompanied by two eggs and went to fetch the juice from the fridge. Unfortunately, the carton was already half-empty.

‘We have some oranges Soos’ grandmother bought yesterday to bake a cake for us later. But she will be upset if we use them.’

‘Nevermind that. We have a much more pressing need for them!’

Dipper stared at him with an odd look. Ford was taking this breakfast idea too seriously.

‘Besides, I’ll go shopping for groceries later today, anyway. So no harm done.’ he added, giving his nephew a wink.

 

**Later that day…**

**_Entry Number Thirty Four_ **

_ After many repeated and failed attempts, the experiments this morning were a success. The test subjects reacted well to being exposed to the end results and no harm could be detected upon their health from their consumption.  _

_ My observations indicate the level of satisfaction varies between subjects. While subject one found the amount, quality and taste of their food portion adequate to sustain their energy level through the equivalent to one third of a terrestrial day, subject two was discontent at the lack of sugar and...glitter on their food.  _

_ Further tests must be conducted to ascertain the root cause of this increased need for sugar and inedible shiny powder in their diet. _

 

‘Grunkle Ford, aren’t you going to finish your breakfast?’ came Mabel’s voice.

Ford glanced from the screen at her for a moment and then at his dish. The pancakes had been barely touched.

‘One minute, Mabel. I’m almost done.’ he said, going back to typing.

Mabel sighed loudly, dropping her fork. Dipper noticed his sister was upset.

‘Great Uncle Ford…’

‘Yes?’ he asked without turning his attention from the screen.

Dipper rose from his seat and closed his great uncle’s laptop without another word. Ford was startled by his attitude.

‘I was writing the newest entry on my journal!’ he scolded the boy.

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

‘Great uncle Ford, you woke me up three hours earlier on a Sunday morning. You insisted I teach you how to prepare breakfast. I helped you clean up the kitchen from the mess  **_you_ ** made. And all this for what? So that you’ll ignore me and Mabel,  **_your family_ ** , while we sit down and enjoy the very thing which took us so much work to do?’

Ford opened his mouth to argue, but closed it back again. His nephew was right. What was he doing? Wasn’t the whole purpose of making breakfast to eat with your family?

The truth was, he wasn’t exactly good at striking a conversation with other people, much less with two kids to whom was only an estranged great uncle. The twins stared back at him. Mabel looking crestfallen; Dipper looking disappointed. The sight saddened him. He had been back from the portal for less than a year. And how did he spend his days? Writing in his laptop? Doing research in the basement? How much time had he actually spent with the twins when Stanley was not around?

He realised he had formed almost no new memories with his niece and nephew and made a decision.

‘Dipper...you’re right. I’m sorry, Mabel. I haven’t been a good...  _ grunkle _ , have I?’ he let the word roll on his tongue, getting used to it.

‘It’s alright, grunkle Ford. We know you’re busy.’ she opened a tiny smile, eyes gleaming, almost on the verge of tears.

‘No, Dipper’s right. That’s no excuse to spend so little time with you two.’ he said, taking a bite of his pancake. ‘Heavens, this is delicious!’

‘Don’t forget to add that in your journal. And the name of the person who taught you how to make them.’ his nephew suggested.

The Pines spent the rest of the morning eating breakfast and enjoying their time together like a family. Ford asked them about life back home and the twins told him everything about school, about their parents and their hobbies. At some point, they asked Ford about his adventures in the Multiverse and the man shared with them his wildest stories, telling them about his encounter with Jesselbraum, his journey to a better, alternate future, the intense fight with Bill and his lackeys in the Nightmare Realm…

...and for the first time in many years, Ford felt he was finally back home. 


End file.
